There hasn't been any signs from my husband for quite a while. Last night I prayed for some kind of sign. I woke up this morning after having a dream about my husband and in it he had just come home from work and was really grouchy to me and in a bad mood so I woke up kind of mad at him. I started thinking this morning maybe I am having a hard time moving on because I tend to place him on a pedestal as if he was perfect. And we all know that no matter how much we love our husbands, they can be cranky and grouchy at times. Maybe after they pass we tend to only remember the good qualities.
So when the tv program I was watching ended, I turned it off and turned on the radio that I had left on the 60's channel.(Because there are no memories of my husband in the 60's). It immediately started playing our wedding song. Somehow the channel had gotten switched to the 70's. I looked at my husband's urn on the shelf and saw the book I had just found and placed there exactly 7 days and 15 hours previously. It was a book my little sister who was 13 at the time had made in school for us. She had taken a book as a craft project and glued the pages shut so it only opened in the middle and painted it. She then placed a picture of my husband and I on the left side with the lyrics to our wedding song on the right. She had made this in 1979 and we had been married in 1974.
I thought it was kind of strange I had just found the book a week ago after having forgotten it even existed.
And then being mad at my husband after the dream and hearing our wedding song. Maybe he was telling me to stop "idolizing" him because he was not perfect and to get out of the funk I have been in. It is ok to be happy and he loves me like on our wedding day. |
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