Dear friends,
I am so sorry I haven't been keeping up with the board much lately. So many things going on, plus there was nothing new to report, didn't want to bore everyone with my humdrum life. Seems my family on the other side must be thinking I don't need comforting much anymore. But I do. Still miss each and every one and the ADC's that used to come regularly. Today a sister of my mom's passed. We did not get along, I am sorry to say. She did something that was unforgivable to me 15 years ago, stirred up a mess in my family, had everyone angry at each other and bickering. I know her anger at the time was a mental illness but still, I could not forgive her and I've held onto this for all these years. News of her death came today like a punch in the gut. My first thought was she took her hatred to the grave, never called me to say she was sorry. but enough about all that. My main reason for posting this is last night I had a long talk with hubby about her, talked about things I hadn't discussed with anyone before. He was puzzled, asked why did you bring all that up now because I hadn't brought her name up in ages. And I'm thinking now, was that some sort of ADC because I was thinking of some of the good times we used to have before she went 'mental' on me and a few others as well. Is it possible to have ADC's before death or are we allowed premonitions? I feel like it's some of both.
I have no one to talk about this with. They'd call me 'mental' as well.
I'm trying to think good thoughts about her now and it's hard. Please, everyone here that believes in prayer, please pray that I can let go of some of my anger towards her and wish her well on her new journey. I do like to picture my mom now with her and all her other brothers and sisters finally at peace with other and this bickering now laid to rest.
Struggling with how I feel about things tonight and why life has to be such turmoil at times. Sleep probably won't come tonight but I do wish all here a comfortable and peaceful night.
Hugggs and much love, Peg |
|
