My "step" niece (20 yrs. old) just lost her grandpa and she came by last night to talk....She's never had a major loss in her family and said she didn't know how to react. She cried, but was embarrassed to express her grief... After she left I wrote down my thoughts and have now shared them with her....
HERE'S MY TAKE ON THE RULES OF GRIEF- And yes, I've had my share.....
First -- Do not hurt another in your pain...Other than that there are NO RULES on "How"....
Cry when you can or want....Reach out to others when you can or want....Crawl into a quiet space or solitude when you can or want. Write your feelings if you can or want....Talk to your Loved One (They DO hear you!)
Second -- There is NO TIME LIMIT on Grief! It's a process and a journey that never really ends......During that process or journey we learn how to cope with day to day life, but loss isn't like going on a tour bus where - It's 6 months now, we're supposed to be at this spot......Oh! It's been a year, the tour is over! Nope. In the process, expect a hiccup or slap in the face where you're hit with a wave of the intense loss all over again. (It can happen YEARS LATER!) Never be ashamed. Acknowledge it. Let your Loved One know....It will pull them to you and they will wrap their love around you. Be open to that. You may surprised by a "sign" from them!
Third -- and most important Rule -- LOVE NEVER DIES. Please remember that we are Souls/Spirit/Energy in a physical body. Once that physical body falls away, the rest still lives. This used to be a belief of faith only, but it's now a proven Scientific Fact.
(Be gentle with yourselves and each other.) |
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