Kate:
A few weeks after the passing of my husband, I went on a tear and started cleaning stuff out. A lot had to do with some construction that was going on in our home, but some of it was I needed to get his stuff out. I have no pictures of him in the house. None. I packed up a lot of his stuff, and it was either tossed in a dumpster or packed in the garage.
One day I remember going through his drawers and getting rid of his tshirts, shorts and other stuff, as well as his shoes. I thought to myself, he's never coming back, why am I holding onto this stuff.
One day I started cleaning out our closet, and I got rid of most of his clothes, clothes that I know he didnt really wear. But I still have his shirts he wore a lot and the suit we got married in.
The whole thing is just so foreign to me. I refuse to wear the wedding ring. People have asked me why, and I tell them that looking at the wedding ring reminds me that he is gone. I have enough reminders of that... I dont need to wear the ring everyday.
Anyway... I guess my point is that I completely understand and I am so thankful to all of you who also understand. I am so grateful I found this forum.
And CATH.. thank you for your voice of encouragement... I am doing the best that I can, and having a cheerleader sure does help. |
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