How to Have an ADC Experience by Bill Guggenheim

The following quote is from an interview with Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross by John Harricharan that appeared in Body, Mind & Spirit magazine in the September/October, 1989 issue:

Interviewer: "Can we communicate with loved ones who have gone on?"

Elisabeth: "Yes, if you are ready and if you are at a high enough spiritual level. It can be done through dreams and also through other methods. I always tell bereaved parents, after they have given up their heaviness and resentment, to say, 'I really need to see you in my dreams. I need to know that you're okay.' If there is a lot of sadness and anger, the one who has gone on cannot come through. But if the conditions are right and there is enough faith, the contact will occur."

Judy and I believe the key word is "ask." Ask God, Jesus, Mary, your Higher Power, the universe, your deceased loved one – whomever or whatever you believe in – to have him or her come to visit you when you are sleeping. Ask sincerely, from your heart, in a quiet prayer.

When you're in bed, just as you're falling asleep, visualize or imagine your deceased family member or friend. See him or her as healed and whole. See or imagine his or her face, smiling and filled with love for you. Say, "I love you!" and put a smile on your face. Then ask that loved one to come to you, to visit you, while you are sleeping.

After-Death Communication experiences (ADCs) during sleep are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than ordinary dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications, by telepathy, are typical. You usually feel your deceased loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. You may even hug and kiss each other! These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented as dreams are.

Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. However, your loved one who has died can come to you more easily when you are relaxed, open, and receptive – while you are in a meditative state or asleep.

According to our research, the purpose of these visits by deceased loved ones is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their family members and friends. They want you to know they are still alive, that they are healed and whole, that they are happy in their new life, and that you'll have reunion with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on Earth. In fact, they'll be there to greet you when you make your own transition!

Your deceased loved ones are being loved and cared for by spiritual guardians and teachers. They will be learning and growing in heaven, and they want you to go on with your life and do the same here. Remember, the purpose of physical life is to learn how to love everyone unconditionally, including yourself. And to serve all other people with loving kindness.

You may also ask that a "sign" to be given to you when you are awake, to let you know that your deceased loved one still exists. Ask whoever or whatever you believe in. If you are patient, and if you are observant, you will receive one or more signs. The most common ones are butterflies and rainbows. Others include birds, animals, flowers, and a large variety of inanimate objects – such as finding a series of coins or whatever item you associate with your deceased relative or friend.

You can learn how to meditate, as this will increase your sensitivity and awareness. Many bereaved people are contacted by their deceased loved ones during meditation – you may see him or her in your mind's eye and even have a two-way conversation!

Meditation will teach you how to relax, and soften any fear and anger you may have. It will also reduce your stress and depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. It's a wonderful way to nurture yourself, especially when you are grieving.

Dream researchers have learned that we dream every ninety minutes, all night long. So there is plenty of material to record. Yet many bereaved people state they cannot recall their ordinary dreams. So we suggest the following:

Keep a note pad and pen next to your bed. As soon as you awaken, immediately write down anything you remember about your last dream, even if it's only a couple of sentences or a few words. The more you train your mind to do this, the more you will recall, and the more information you'll be able to write down. In a little while, you'll be surprised how much you remember!

Here's an even easier way. Keep a little portable cassette player next to your bed – they cost $15-$25. Buy an inexpensive external microphone for it, one that has an "on-off switch." These cost about $10-$15 at stores like Radio Shack. Set the cassette player in the "record" position, but place the slide switch on the microphone in the "off" position. When you awaken from a dream, hold the microphone, slide the switch to the "on" position, and start recording whatever impressions you have about your last dream. Keep your eyes closed, don't turn on the light, and, if you're married, talk softly so you don't wake up your husband or wife. Again, you'll be surprised how many details you'll be able to recall from your last dream.

Another use for a portable cassette player is that it can be a "substitute friend" if there is no one else available to share your feelings with at a particular time – when it's 3:00 a.m. and you really need to express your emotions. Just talk into the microphone – it's like talking on a telephone – and say anything and everything you are feeling – even things you may be ashamed to say to another person. You can speak all your feelings and thoughts onto a tape – and the tape will be a perfect listener, one who offers no criticism, no judgments, no advice, etc. In fact, you can cry, scream, swear, and say anything you want, without anyone knowing about it. Then you can play the tape back later if you wish, or you can erase it, or you can tape over it again and again in the future. It's an easy, inexpensive, and effective way to release your worst pain and deepest grief in privacy and safety.

And if you listen to yourself as you talk, you may even gain some insights about what's really going on with you – and perhaps understand things in a different way than before.

This technique is not meant to be a replacement for sharing your feelings with a warm, compassionate, loving human being. Unfortunately, a cassette player cannot hold you, cry with you, or give you that big warm loving hug you really need. That's what compassionate family members, friends, and bereavement support groups are for.